I hate separation.
I don't understand why living in this world, why we have to separate??
Why we have to learn to separate??
Why we just can't stick together forever??
Why there's no eternity??
Even the sun that seems like always be there everyday, it will explode and disappear one day.
When I was young, the 1st separation I that felt pain was when my grandmother passed away. I still remember everyone was sad, some were crying, nobody was laughing; I still remember my grandfather was sitting at the darkest corner, eyes looking down.
Later, I made friends in kindergarten, but I didn't feel anything when we were about to separate to study in different primary schools. In fact, I felt happy because finally I was growing up. That's the only wish when I was young, to grow up. I believe every children has the same wish too. And I understand now why I wasn't sad, I think it was because when we were young, everything that mattered was our family, besides that, nothing else seems like ours.
But after my sis studied in KL, she would only be at home during weekend. I felt empty when I was sleeping alone on a double bed. I felt that something was away from my life. Worst when she flew to UK. I still remember the conversation between us days before she went.
"Will you cry in the airport?? I think I will." sis said
" I won't. And I know you won't too." I said
We didn't cry, at least the tears didn't roll out in the airport. But after that, i was crying like hell inside my blanket after I reached home. I just hate separation!
In Form 5, I knew that we were about to separate. It would be hard for us to study together anymore. So, I made myself to prepare for that day since April or even earlier. I've tried to appreciate every moment I had with my friends, tried not to miss a single gathering. So, when the day came, even I was sad, but still I managed to control my feelings better than I thought. What a shame if I couldn't after months of preparation for that.
Another thing that I don't like is a totally new environment, make new friends without any old friends beside you to go through together.
It's not that I don't wanna make new friends, but I don't know how to socialize. Especially when those new friends are so important in your new life.
In NS for 3 months, I knew a lot of friends. That's true. But, I think I was closer to only some of them, and it actually quite hard to fit in when they were with other gang. I didn't know why, maybe we didn't have the same frequency. Anyway, I just wished I could get out from there asap. Except for the last day, there was a thought flashed through in my mind that I wished the time would go slower. Just a while, though.
Then I had my college life in HELP. Same thing happened. I was afraid to that totally new environment and faces. For the 1st week, I didn't feel that I belonged to there. I tried to recall the feelings I had on my first day in kindergarten, primary or even secondary. But, I forgot. I think maybe I was still young at that time. I didn't aware of the new environment. Or maybe, I didn't think too much. Pisces always think too much. But luckily for me, I found myself in HELP. I started to get along with things and friends around me. And I had a great time with all of them.
And now, I miss HELP so much, especially the people there.
But just 1 month, a call has changed my life, again. Thought I could settle down in HELP, but not anymore. I had to start all over again in INTEC. Again, I had the same feelings like my first week in HELP. I went to INTEC 2 days already. Maybe we all were just get to know each other, maybe the rules and regulations in INTEC were killing me, maybe I miss HELP, I felt like I was not happy there and doubted if I could even continue my life journey with them.
Maybe I'm too negative, maybe I think too much. But, I just can't help it. This thought has torturing my mind for days. I don't know who to share with, but write it down in my blog, hoping someone out there can give me some support. I'm not a strong person. I'm not a happy-go-lucky type of person. I laugh with you. I can be 38 or crazy with you. But you will never know what I do when I am alone.
Now, there's another important stage in my life. I have a very important interview next Tuesday. If I pass, then I'll fly over to FRANCE in 31th May. But if I fail, will never know what's ahead.
But there's a problem. I wonder if I really wanna go to FRANCE. So far away from Malaysia, where my sweet home is, where my friends are, where I grow up. It's always been my dream to study overseas. But when the chance's here, I doubt.
I know I should try my very best for that interview. Because if I don't do so, my parents who have sacrificed their time to prepare everything for me, who have put their high hope on me, will feel disappoint. And there's no turning back for me, as I've withdrew from HELP.
But, honestly, I chose FRANCE when I applied JPA was because my mum asked me to. That time, I din't think so much. I knew I had to learn another language, so?? Even when my parents tried to change the country for me after JPA interview, I reassured them that I don't mind. Even when my mum said she didn't want me to regret and blamed her for asking me to choose FRANCE later, I said I won't. When I was convincing others that it's ok for me to go FRANCE, I was actually convincing myself too.
But now, I'm not so sure anymore.
Looking at the FRENCH, I was like "wth". I don't really like languages, even Chinese, English or Malay, the languages that I've learnt since young. That's why I scared languages the most in SPM. (giggle). I doubt if I can study well on something that I don't really feel interesting. Worse if I can't catch up the syllabus in engineering in FRANCE. What is so wrong to use English, French people?? Anyway, it's too early for me to say so as I haven't even start my FRENCH class now.
Besides, 7 years in FRANCE?? I wonder if I have that strong will. Living in KL, for the past 1 month, I already felt sad to leave my home and my lovely room. Now, there's a question in my mind, "Why I didn't just choose engineering but FRANCE engineering??"
Ok! Maybe I've judged everything too early. I just went there 2 days, just knew them for 2 days. I needed a week in HELP, so...I think too much.
But with everything in my mind now, how can I prepare my interview well.
What if I fail?? I can't go back to HELP, after what happened in the office that day. I don't want to go matrix. Then??
Oh gosh! Hope somebody will pop out and say," Hey, you silly girl! What a shame you have thoughts like that!" Or something like that.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Phobist
My memories begin when
Case 1
Age : 7
Venue :SJK (c) Chung Hwa PD
Description :
Medical team from Klinik Port Dickson came over. Gave vaccination for us. When I looked at the needle pinched into my flesh, I was like...forgot..Later, I walked back to my place, feeling dizzy. Told the nurse. Fainted. When I woke up, I was under the table. Puzzled. Crying. Placed on a table. People was busy calming me down.
Case 2
Age : undetectable
Venue : Klinik Pantai Port Dickson
Description:
First booster for my vaccine of Hepatitis B due to my low antibiotic level. Crying, starred by the people in that clinic. Feeling dizzy. Dragged to the car. Can't move my left hand.
Same condition for the next 2 boosters in next 4 years.
Case 3
Age : 14
Venue :STPD
Description:
Kind medical team came to school, again. Scared. Worried. But, managed to control myself. Smooth and calm throughout the process.
Case 4
Age :15
Venue :Klinik Port Dickson
Description:
Went to a dental check. Had to pluck all my milk teeth. Reason why I took so long till 15 to pluck them was, I scared dentist. They are just, scary. Held tight on the chair and mum's hand. Tears were rolling. Laughed by the nurses. Who cared?? I was terrified.
Case 5
Age :17
Venue :STPD
Description:
There was a blood donation going on in our school. Looking forward to it, even though I was scared. Waited so long, finally it was my turn. Held tight on Syquina's hand, didn't dare to look at it. The needle was SO BIG! Later, I was being playful. Failed to donate. Nurse changed the position of the needle, IN MY FLESH! No one was around that time, except him, coz had class. Poor me! Cried again. Laughed by Rasyidah. Situation was funny.
Case 6
Age :17
Venue :Klinik Port Dickson
Description :
Had to do medical checkup for National Service. Sent to the dental department. Thinking of the dentist would pluck my teeth or do something scary on them as I was walking to there. At the end, the nurse just signed, and I was released! Damn relieved!!
Case 7
Age :18
Venue :Mawar Hospital, Seremban
Description:
Had to do medical checkup for JPA. Had a blood test to do. Doctor was trying to look for my vein. Hard to get it. Looked at it when he was injecting that needle. Left hand was trying to push that needle away from the doctor's hand, managed to control. Sadly, the blood refused to flow out. Was so tensed up, till I felt dizzy when he was trying on my left arm. Couldn't handle anymore. Brought me to drink, but couldn't walk. Dad bought a MILO. Tears started to roll. Another doctor came. She was so kind. I'll always remember her words, "It's ok to cry when you're tensed up. Crying doesn't show that we are weak, but we have emotions." Braver when she tried to collect my blood again near my left wrist. It was slow, though. Slow-movement-blood of mine.
Case 8
Age :18
Venue : Columbia Hospital, Seremban
Description :
Continuation from JPA medical checkup. Injected a medicine on my left arm for Tuberculosis checking. Told myself not to look at it. It wasn't pain.(Actually, the injections were not pain, just that, I'm scared) Was ok then.
For those who don't understand
When I feel dizzy, my head starts to feel heavy. Body feels cool and lips are dry. Later, if I still don't take any actions, my vision is actually blur. Some "puzzles" are covering it. (I called them as "puzzles" because they looked like the puzzles that are still undone). At this moment, I feel like wanna hit my head. If I walk, I really cannot put all my energy, sometimes, situation will become worse. If I put my head down(like laying my head on a table), instead of letting it to be straight, I can actually just faint.
I don't understand why I'm so frightened about injections, plucking teeth and all the things that have to do with medical and pains on my body.
haih...
Case 1
Age : 7
Venue :SJK (c) Chung Hwa PD
Description :
Medical team from Klinik Port Dickson came over. Gave vaccination for us. When I looked at the needle pinched into my flesh, I was like...forgot..Later, I walked back to my place, feeling dizzy. Told the nurse. Fainted. When I woke up, I was under the table. Puzzled. Crying. Placed on a table. People was busy calming me down.
Case 2
Age : undetectable
Venue : Klinik Pantai Port Dickson
Description:
First booster for my vaccine of Hepatitis B due to my low antibiotic level. Crying, starred by the people in that clinic. Feeling dizzy. Dragged to the car. Can't move my left hand.
Same condition for the next 2 boosters in next 4 years.
Case 3
Age : 14
Venue :STPD
Description:
Kind medical team came to school, again. Scared. Worried. But, managed to control myself. Smooth and calm throughout the process.
Case 4
Age :15
Venue :Klinik Port Dickson
Description:
Went to a dental check. Had to pluck all my milk teeth. Reason why I took so long till 15 to pluck them was, I scared dentist. They are just, scary. Held tight on the chair and mum's hand. Tears were rolling. Laughed by the nurses. Who cared?? I was terrified.
Case 5
Age :17
Venue :STPD
Description:
There was a blood donation going on in our school. Looking forward to it, even though I was scared. Waited so long, finally it was my turn. Held tight on Syquina's hand, didn't dare to look at it. The needle was SO BIG! Later, I was being playful. Failed to donate. Nurse changed the position of the needle, IN MY FLESH! No one was around that time, except him, coz had class. Poor me! Cried again. Laughed by Rasyidah. Situation was funny.
Case 6
Age :17
Venue :Klinik Port Dickson
Description :
Had to do medical checkup for National Service. Sent to the dental department. Thinking of the dentist would pluck my teeth or do something scary on them as I was walking to there. At the end, the nurse just signed, and I was released! Damn relieved!!
Case 7
Age :18
Venue :Mawar Hospital, Seremban
Description:
Had to do medical checkup for JPA. Had a blood test to do. Doctor was trying to look for my vein. Hard to get it. Looked at it when he was injecting that needle. Left hand was trying to push that needle away from the doctor's hand, managed to control. Sadly, the blood refused to flow out. Was so tensed up, till I felt dizzy when he was trying on my left arm. Couldn't handle anymore. Brought me to drink, but couldn't walk. Dad bought a MILO. Tears started to roll. Another doctor came. She was so kind. I'll always remember her words, "It's ok to cry when you're tensed up. Crying doesn't show that we are weak, but we have emotions." Braver when she tried to collect my blood again near my left wrist. It was slow, though. Slow-movement-blood of mine.
Case 8
Age :18
Venue : Columbia Hospital, Seremban
Description :
Continuation from JPA medical checkup. Injected a medicine on my left arm for Tuberculosis checking. Told myself not to look at it. It wasn't pain.(Actually, the injections were not pain, just that, I'm scared) Was ok then.
For those who don't understand
When I feel dizzy, my head starts to feel heavy. Body feels cool and lips are dry. Later, if I still don't take any actions, my vision is actually blur. Some "puzzles" are covering it. (I called them as "puzzles" because they looked like the puzzles that are still undone). At this moment, I feel like wanna hit my head. If I walk, I really cannot put all my energy, sometimes, situation will become worse. If I put my head down(like laying my head on a table), instead of letting it to be straight, I can actually just faint.
I don't understand why I'm so frightened about injections, plucking teeth and all the things that have to do with medical and pains on my body.
haih...
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
OMG
GOSH!!
You know what??
I just received a call telling me that I got JPA
To France!!
Can you believe that??!!
OH MY GOD!!
You know what??
I just received a call telling me that I got JPA
To France!!
Can you believe that??!!
OH MY GOD!!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
My 17 Years
1991
I love you guys!!
- forced to come to this world on 24th Feb
- learned to walk
- had my first bearbear, XiuXiu
- had a mini car to bang everywhere in my house
- had a 4-wheels mini bicycle, cycled in my house garden
- had my 1st day in kindergarten, near Jalan Lama
- hung out most of my time in my aunt's house with my cousin brother
- always lost to him in playing clay
- took 2 cats from outside into my aunt's house and got scolded
- changed to another kindergarten
- had tuition in my own house, taught by my mum
- sis and bro made my wore"zhi ku", looked like mini Aladdin
- had my last year of kindergarten in Mrs Rozario
- met Chuiping, but we didn't talk much, because she didn't know Chinese that time and my English wasn't good
- get scolded by Mrs Rozario because talked too much, didn't tell dad and mum, but actually they knew(years later only I know they knew)
- had my very 1st piano lesson
- had my first day in SJK (C) Chung Hwa PD
- suddenly became the class monitor with YuanZhen
- tried out some competitions, didn't know why, teacher asked me to do so, so I followed
- fought with Liesiah all the time, it was so childish
- changed piano teacher to Miss Heng
- had an injection in school, fainted. Phobia since then.
- had a very good friend called SiewHui
- cried when teacher tried to separate us, at last, teacher didn't change our places
- always played snake puzzle with YuinXing under the desk
- became a prefect with most of my friends
- played together when on duty
- didn't understand why we(3P) always fought with 3M
- represented the school for a singing competition but lost, phobia to stand on stage to sing since then, but now I''m recovered
- won a bicycle in a Maths competition, bro taught me to cycle
- sis helped in an Art homework. That piece of art ended up hanging in the class with honored, with my name on it
- had PTS, but failed
- fought with Liesiah again, this time, our class teacher,Pn Wong interuppted
- less talking between us since then
- started to hang out in friends' house
- HuiXian from Sarawak joined us, now she's in Singapore
- started to take part in public speaking competitions and loved it
- last year in primary, had my UPSR
- played a lot when duty, but teacher never cared
- hung out in a small garden, we called it as "The Place"
- got closer with HuiShin, talked alot, always got scolded(she, not me)
- sis went to study in KL, less pillow talking
- first day in STPD
- separated with some of my friends, sad
- knew many new friends, happy
- my ears were pain when the teachers were talking in English and BM
- was ok later
- suddenly became a prefect
- sat with Yenleen, last row
- got closer with Yanping, didn't remember why
- she scared me in class, and I yelled, so xiasui
- slept in class for the very 1st time
- first lesson for my Chinese flute
- involved back in public speaking competitions after 1 year
- had my PMR
- sat with BoonChin, she is now in Seremban 2
- got closer with Chuiping, talked a lot in tuition, got scolded every time(she, not me)haha
- and Yenleen too, poor girls~~
- HuiShin joined us again
- had a surprise party for my birthday in school
- stopped my Chinese flute lesson. Grade 2 only.
- learned my Pre-Diploma for piano in Rasah Jaya. Travelling every sat. Tired.
- Chuiping went to Italy for student exchange program
- only plucked all my milk teeth because too afraid of the horrible dentist
- had a cat, but died after a few months
- learned to swim, but still not very good
- Chuiping came back
- sis went to UK, leaving me with my bearbears in a small room. No more pillow talking.
- got myself involved in cocuricular activities, to search happiness, and marks
- had a great time with my friends in school, in tuitions, and hung out alot
- became a Young Journalist for Sin Chew Jit Poh, but not a good member
- loved St John Ambulance and Chinese Society
- stopped my piano lesson after I failed in my Pre-Diploma. Grade 8 only, in the end.
- got closer with Syquina, sat together with her and Yenleen in tuitions
- suddenly almost half of the class became prefect
- same group with YiRu in prefect. She was the faci while I was the leader. Damn happy.(Later only I know, Syquina did something with it)
- Angie appeared in my life.
- last year in STPD, had my SPM
- got closer with Rafidah, always find her and talk
- each 5A10 students became very close to each other.
- Alvin, Rf, Sy, Zy, In, Syafiq, MingXiao, Yl, Me, Lydia, Devina, Chuiping ,Zeeyee, Zi, Lim, Jeff, YuanZhen, Joanne, Aneshaa, Zinmin, Zheyuan, Szeling, ChianRou, Ava, Huayung, Yibei, Ck, Shine, HwaJun, WeiSheng, HuiShin, Sukee, Yanping, Laiyee, Caoyuan, Huaishin
- had my birthday party on the beach near Seaview
- got my driving license, 1st dream came true(to get a driving license before SPM was my dream since I was small)
- was busy studying at the end of year, lotza exams and test
- still had a great time ever
- 1st blood donation in my life. Scary but exciting. Failed to donate because I laughed too much.
- being informed with the word "Tahniah" that I was selected for NS
- Zyrith cried for that as she got congratulated too!
- had a trip with fellow friends to Genting,Sunway and Penang
- trapped in Kem De'Bana for NS, till my 18th year
I love you guys!!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Confessions of a Wirawati 2
This is the 4th week I came back from NS, and the reason why I only write this now is that, I didn't have much time to update my blog. Right after the 2nd day I came back, I went back to school, to take my SPM result, and I'm pretty satisfied with it. Later, for the next whole week, I was busy with my scholarship application and all those education fairs. Hard to believe it, but the truth was, the 2nd week I came back, I was already in HELP college to study my A-level. Staying in my uncle's house, I had no much time to online.
Why I talk about all this?? Ok! Come back to the main point. My NS life. Now, when I think back, NS is actually quite fun, despite the restriction of trainees' freedom. That's the only thing I wished to have in NS. Anyway, for the 2nd part of my NS, I've tried many activities, which were fun.
Canoeing
I took part in this competition, female double. My partner was May. Before that, we never practiced before because the schedule problem. I don't know how the trainers expect us to kayak without any practicing, but the truth was, quite many trainees did a pretty good job! They could handle the paddles well, control the direction as they wished, and their speed and cooperation were good. But not me and May, we were kelam-kabut...haha...no planning, no cooperation, never think logically while we were in the race. So, we ended up wandering around inside the lake. We kept moving towards the lake side, and hit the bank. For quite many times, the other teammates from BRAVO helped to push us away from the side...haha...so xiao sui...
After struggling, finally we finished it. After that, I cried. Not because I lost it, but I knew we could do it better. Luckily, BRAVO was understanding. They never blamed the others for making mistakes in any competition. Not directly, I mean. hehe. But for my case, I know, they didn't blame me and May.
Volley ball
I didn't take part in this, because, you should know. I've never be a good sportswoman. Haha. But I woke up early in the morning(that day was a holiday for us, we could do whatever we wanted, including to sleep till very late), to give my friends support. But, we lost it. I cried again,(swt), not because we lost, again, but the players did very well at the beginning, and suddenly a problem occurred(not good to mention it here), making the whole competition was not on our side anymore. A regret, I would say.
Right after the competition, an incident occurred. My friend, A, said that one of our BRAVO trainers, Mr P, was not supporting us during the competition, instead of it, he showed his watch to us to time how long we would lose it. A was quite angry with it, and she confronted the trainer. I was quite surprised with it, never thought that she would talk to him like that. Mr P treated her quite good, and she said before that he was a good trainer. Later, Mr P was so angry and he called up a meeting with us, to scold us. The atmosphere was quite moody and everyone was tensed-up, and A was crying non-stop..haih, an unforgettable incident...
Marching
The activity that I love the most!! I have no idea how can it happen, but I like the discipline when we're marching, I can feel the spirit of a team. That's why, when the trainers wanted to choose some trainees to march on the Hari Terbuka, I went. Hard to believe it, at that time, I was kinda down because of some problem, but when I was marching, I felt that was something worthy for me to be done happily. Sounds so serious, uh! hehe
When our NS was about to end, there was a marching competition among the companies. Surprisingly, BRAVO got the 2nd place for wira and wirawati, and also commander wira and wirawati. Due to it, we became the overall champion for marching competition. We were so happy till I could see the tears were rolling in our eyes. We were so happy till we ran to our teacher, hugged her and thrown her into the air...
I said it was a surprise because we did quite a lot of mistakes, and during the practicing moment, we always argued, no cooperation and not organized like the other company. Anyway, We won!!
I'm yours-Jason Mraz
The story begins like this, ekhem..hehe..
There was a talk for us on a sat, which was supposed to be our holiday. That talk was about how we should spend our money wisely, and trust me, it was so boring....
The atmosphere was rising up when the speaker said she wanted to have a karaoke competition, anyone could go up stage to sing. The prize for both wira and wirawati was Potato Chips..haha
People started to go up and sing, of course, our singer from BRAVO, Leon, never missed the chance. We always support him. Later on, my friends started to call my name and asked me to go up stage too. I was kinda shocked, because WHY ME?!
However, i wanted to try something different. So, I went.
At first, I didn't know what song I should sing, and my friend, May, asked to sing "I'm yours" because I just sang right before everything started. So, I sang.
Things started to change. Before that, I was an "unknown" in everyone's eyes(hehe, sounds so pitiful), but then, at least they knew me, and would sing it when I passed by, till the end of the NS...
Flying Fox.Repelling
I didn't have the chance to play flying fox, and I was so upset about it.
At first, the trainer said that we could try both flying fox and repelling. So, after I've waited for ages, finally, I climbed up the tower, and chose to play repelling first. It was fun, and exciting!! Especially at the moment when I had to jump down.
After that, I climbed up again to play my next game, flying fox. But, the trainer said that I couldn't play anymore, because not enough time for the others.
Haih....if she told me earlier, then I would never choose repelling....but, anyway, I can try next time..
In the jungle
We prepared for almost 2 days to pack our stuff to go to the jungle. The backpack was so damn heavy!! and imagine that we all had to carry all the way into the thick jungle. About 1 to 2 hours walking and climbing in the jungle, finally, we reached the camp site.
So, we had to work now. Find a suitable tree, chop it down, set up the camp for 4 in a team. The process was fun actually when we all were working hard for it. But, soon after we set up the camp, it came the rain, and it was flooding inside our camp!!
Gosh!! How could this be happened after we worked so hard, while some others were relaxing in their camps, looking at the people who was wet like me??!!
Anyway, it was over...
Later on, we had a stupid game. I mean, why they asked us to play search-and-rescue in that jungle, knowing that we wouldn't actually follow the rules, and said we were not cooperating??
Oh! Never mind...
Next, we cooked our lunch and dinner and ate together. It was fun!! Really!! I never had that experience before...
Soon, it turned dark. We set up a fire, and sat around it, and kept on talking. We talked about our family, our friends, our feelings in ns, the people in NS...almost everything. It was so fun and relaxing, really...
How can I have such a moment with friends, if I never went to NS??
Last night EVER!
At that night, there was a very big event going on, which was our majlis perpisahan.
Every company had to prepare 10 minutes performance based on the theme they gave. So, Bravo got the theme of Chinese culture.
At first, we planned to dance a traditional dance and singing. But, there was some problem for the singing part because not everyone could learn that that song and the pronunciation fast. At last, we had one traditional and one modern dance.
I joined the modern dance, which was para para sakura. At that moment, I had a feeling to learn dancing. I was so happy that I can actually move...ahaha!
After the show, everyone was busy taking photos(since that night was malam kebuduayaan too, everyone was dressing well), hugging with the trainers, tears are rolling down...
Hard to forget that when it was around 2am, we just came back to our domes, there was no electricity.
So, I went out with my friends, sitting on the land, and watching the sky, with the full-moon so bright...
The earth was bright too, didn't need a torchlight or anything, but everything was so clear in eyes....With the moonlight embracing us, it was indeed an unforgettable night...
Now, everyone of us comes back to our own world. But, we still keep in touch. MSN, texting, emails....Even though I've never met them since we seperated on 11th March, but they will always be in my heart. Take care, my friends!!
Why I talk about all this?? Ok! Come back to the main point. My NS life. Now, when I think back, NS is actually quite fun, despite the restriction of trainees' freedom. That's the only thing I wished to have in NS. Anyway, for the 2nd part of my NS, I've tried many activities, which were fun.
Canoeing
I took part in this competition, female double. My partner was May. Before that, we never practiced before because the schedule problem. I don't know how the trainers expect us to kayak without any practicing, but the truth was, quite many trainees did a pretty good job! They could handle the paddles well, control the direction as they wished, and their speed and cooperation were good. But not me and May, we were kelam-kabut...haha...no planning, no cooperation, never think logically while we were in the race. So, we ended up wandering around inside the lake. We kept moving towards the lake side, and hit the bank. For quite many times, the other teammates from BRAVO helped to push us away from the side...haha...so xiao sui...
After struggling, finally we finished it. After that, I cried. Not because I lost it, but I knew we could do it better. Luckily, BRAVO was understanding. They never blamed the others for making mistakes in any competition. Not directly, I mean. hehe. But for my case, I know, they didn't blame me and May.
Volley ball
I didn't take part in this, because, you should know. I've never be a good sportswoman. Haha. But I woke up early in the morning(that day was a holiday for us, we could do whatever we wanted, including to sleep till very late), to give my friends support. But, we lost it. I cried again,(swt), not because we lost, again, but the players did very well at the beginning, and suddenly a problem occurred(not good to mention it here), making the whole competition was not on our side anymore. A regret, I would say.
Right after the competition, an incident occurred. My friend, A, said that one of our BRAVO trainers, Mr P, was not supporting us during the competition, instead of it, he showed his watch to us to time how long we would lose it. A was quite angry with it, and she confronted the trainer. I was quite surprised with it, never thought that she would talk to him like that. Mr P treated her quite good, and she said before that he was a good trainer. Later, Mr P was so angry and he called up a meeting with us, to scold us. The atmosphere was quite moody and everyone was tensed-up, and A was crying non-stop..haih, an unforgettable incident...
Marching
The activity that I love the most!! I have no idea how can it happen, but I like the discipline when we're marching, I can feel the spirit of a team. That's why, when the trainers wanted to choose some trainees to march on the Hari Terbuka, I went. Hard to believe it, at that time, I was kinda down because of some problem, but when I was marching, I felt that was something worthy for me to be done happily. Sounds so serious, uh! hehe
When our NS was about to end, there was a marching competition among the companies. Surprisingly, BRAVO got the 2nd place for wira and wirawati, and also commander wira and wirawati. Due to it, we became the overall champion for marching competition. We were so happy till I could see the tears were rolling in our eyes. We were so happy till we ran to our teacher, hugged her and thrown her into the air...
I said it was a surprise because we did quite a lot of mistakes, and during the practicing moment, we always argued, no cooperation and not organized like the other company. Anyway, We won!!
I'm yours-Jason Mraz
The story begins like this, ekhem..hehe..
There was a talk for us on a sat, which was supposed to be our holiday. That talk was about how we should spend our money wisely, and trust me, it was so boring....
The atmosphere was rising up when the speaker said she wanted to have a karaoke competition, anyone could go up stage to sing. The prize for both wira and wirawati was Potato Chips..haha
People started to go up and sing, of course, our singer from BRAVO, Leon, never missed the chance. We always support him. Later on, my friends started to call my name and asked me to go up stage too. I was kinda shocked, because WHY ME?!
However, i wanted to try something different. So, I went.
At first, I didn't know what song I should sing, and my friend, May, asked to sing "I'm yours" because I just sang right before everything started. So, I sang.
Things started to change. Before that, I was an "unknown" in everyone's eyes(hehe, sounds so pitiful), but then, at least they knew me, and would sing it when I passed by, till the end of the NS...
Flying Fox.Repelling
I didn't have the chance to play flying fox, and I was so upset about it.
At first, the trainer said that we could try both flying fox and repelling. So, after I've waited for ages, finally, I climbed up the tower, and chose to play repelling first. It was fun, and exciting!! Especially at the moment when I had to jump down.
After that, I climbed up again to play my next game, flying fox. But, the trainer said that I couldn't play anymore, because not enough time for the others.
Haih....if she told me earlier, then I would never choose repelling....but, anyway, I can try next time..
In the jungle
We prepared for almost 2 days to pack our stuff to go to the jungle. The backpack was so damn heavy!! and imagine that we all had to carry all the way into the thick jungle. About 1 to 2 hours walking and climbing in the jungle, finally, we reached the camp site.
So, we had to work now. Find a suitable tree, chop it down, set up the camp for 4 in a team. The process was fun actually when we all were working hard for it. But, soon after we set up the camp, it came the rain, and it was flooding inside our camp!!
Gosh!! How could this be happened after we worked so hard, while some others were relaxing in their camps, looking at the people who was wet like me??!!
Anyway, it was over...
Later on, we had a stupid game. I mean, why they asked us to play search-and-rescue in that jungle, knowing that we wouldn't actually follow the rules, and said we were not cooperating??
Oh! Never mind...
Next, we cooked our lunch and dinner and ate together. It was fun!! Really!! I never had that experience before...
Soon, it turned dark. We set up a fire, and sat around it, and kept on talking. We talked about our family, our friends, our feelings in ns, the people in NS...almost everything. It was so fun and relaxing, really...
How can I have such a moment with friends, if I never went to NS??
Last night EVER!
At that night, there was a very big event going on, which was our majlis perpisahan.
Every company had to prepare 10 minutes performance based on the theme they gave. So, Bravo got the theme of Chinese culture.
At first, we planned to dance a traditional dance and singing. But, there was some problem for the singing part because not everyone could learn that that song and the pronunciation fast. At last, we had one traditional and one modern dance.
I joined the modern dance, which was para para sakura. At that moment, I had a feeling to learn dancing. I was so happy that I can actually move...ahaha!
After the show, everyone was busy taking photos(since that night was malam kebuduayaan too, everyone was dressing well), hugging with the trainers, tears are rolling down...
Hard to forget that when it was around 2am, we just came back to our domes, there was no electricity.
So, I went out with my friends, sitting on the land, and watching the sky, with the full-moon so bright...
The earth was bright too, didn't need a torchlight or anything, but everything was so clear in eyes....With the moonlight embracing us, it was indeed an unforgettable night...
Now, everyone of us comes back to our own world. But, we still keep in touch. MSN, texting, emails....Even though I've never met them since we seperated on 11th March, but they will always be in my heart. Take care, my friends!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)