Phobist

My memories begin when

Case 1

Age : 7
Venue :SJK (c) Chung Hwa PD
Description :
Medical team from Klinik Port Dickson came over. Gave vaccination for us. When I looked at the needle pinched into my flesh, I was like...forgot..Later, I walked back to my place, feeling dizzy. Told the nurse. Fainted. When I woke up, I was under the table. Puzzled. Crying. Placed on a table. People was busy calming me down.

Case 2

Age : undetectable
Venue : Klinik Pantai Port Dickson
Description:
First booster for my vaccine of Hepatitis B due to my low antibiotic level. Crying, starred by the people in that clinic. Feeling dizzy. Dragged to the car. Can't move my left hand.
Same condition for the next 2 boosters in next 4 years.

Case 3

Age : 14
Venue :STPD
Description:
Kind medical team came to school, again. Scared. Worried. But, managed to control myself. Smooth and calm throughout the process.

Case 4

Age :15
Venue :Klinik Port Dickson
Description:
Went to a dental check. Had to pluck all my milk teeth. Reason why I took so long till 15 to pluck them was, I scared dentist. They are just, scary. Held tight on the chair and mum's hand. Tears were rolling. Laughed by the nurses. Who cared?? I was terrified.

Case 5

Age :17
Venue :STPD
Description:
There was a blood donation going on in our school. Looking forward to it, even though I was scared. Waited so long, finally it was my turn. Held tight on Syquina's hand, didn't dare to look at it. The needle was SO BIG! Later, I was being playful. Failed to donate. Nurse changed the position of the needle, IN MY FLESH! No one was around that time, except him, coz had class. Poor me! Cried again. Laughed by Rasyidah. Situation was funny.

Case 6

Age :17
Venue :Klinik Port Dickson
Description :
Had to do medical checkup for National Service. Sent to the dental department. Thinking of the dentist would pluck my teeth or do something scary on them as I was walking to there. At the end, the nurse just signed, and I was released! Damn relieved!!

Case 7

Age :18
Venue :Mawar Hospital, Seremban
Description:
Had to do medical checkup for JPA. Had a blood test to do. Doctor was trying to look for my vein. Hard to get it. Looked at it when he was injecting that needle. Left hand was trying to push that needle away from the doctor's hand, managed to control. Sadly, the blood refused to flow out. Was so tensed up, till I felt dizzy when he was trying on my left arm. Couldn't handle anymore. Brought me to drink, but couldn't walk. Dad bought a MILO. Tears started to roll. Another doctor came. She was so kind. I'll always remember her words, "It's ok to cry when you're tensed up. Crying doesn't show that we are weak, but we have emotions." Braver when she tried to collect my blood again near my left wrist. It was slow, though. Slow-movement-blood of mine.

Case 8

Age :18
Venue : Columbia Hospital, Seremban
Description :
Continuation from JPA medical checkup. Injected a medicine on my left arm for Tuberculosis checking. Told myself not to look at it. It wasn't pain.(Actually, the injections were not pain, just that, I'm scared) Was ok then.


For those who don't understand

When I feel dizzy, my head starts to feel heavy. Body feels cool and lips are dry. Later, if I still don't take any actions, my vision is actually blur. Some "puzzles" are covering it. (I called them as "puzzles" because they looked like the puzzles that are still undone). At this moment, I feel like wanna hit my head. If I walk, I really cannot put all my energy, sometimes, situation will become worse. If I put my head down(like laying my head on a table), instead of letting it to be straight, I can actually just faint.
I don't understand why I'm so frightened about injections, plucking teeth and all the things that have to do with medical and pains on my body.
haih...